Let’s Talk About Sex…uality

I am not a prude. Never have been, never will be. I am the mother of an adult daughter, married with a child and bonus mom to a lesbian. I wanted my girls to have the best sexual experiences possible, no matter their choices for partners. I encouraged conversations and questions. I left the door open and what I wasn’t sure of, I educated myself.

I used to joke that mean ass old ladies were mean because they had never had a mind cleansing CUM CRY. You know, just blubbering for no other damn reason than the fact the “D”, was that damn good and you didn't know why. Fellas, sorry if she hasn‘t come cried, I don’t know what to tell you! Maybe, YOU need…never mind this is for the ladies, y’all men…NEXT!

Yes I’m liberal in my thinking and I’m open in my discussions. I remember when my youngest wanted a cat and I very pointedly told her, I’m sure you do want a little pussy running around here! Now, don’t clutch your pearls, it’s a double entendre for sure but it also let her know that I accepted and respected her choices. Also, I detest cats. Sneaky women on 4 legs! It was important for me to show her that I was NEVER going to judge her and also that I understood how it felt to not be accepted because of preferences, choices, or simply DNA. Yes, being a black lesbian hits the intersectionality jackpot. But I didn’t want her to suffer from it. But I’ve had to check people for their ignorance and their assumptions.

Black women suffer from horrible gynecological complications at rates higher than our white counterparts; endometriosis, infertility, just to name two. Baby girl wanted Depot Provera injections. Fine no problem. Her periods were horrible and her flow unbelievably heavy for my 4’11 beauty. However, the clinician kept insisting she take a pregnancy test. She told her clinician she was a virgin but when she refused, well they wouldn’t administer the injection. She told her clinician she was a virgin. Wether we believe people or not, we have to give people the benefit of the doubt. Until proven otherwise. But of course being an 18 year old virgin, how could that be? I know what she was thinking too, black female virgin? Insert eye rolls and twisted lips. However, we know what they say about assumptions. Baby Girl was upset and called me about the issue. Well I did what any supporting mother would do, I leaned on her clinician as well as gave her an education on how to properly assess a patient. I relish in the fact that they don’t expect the knowledge base and I made sure I informed her, ”leave your bias at the door in health care, society, life! Being a health care profesional, I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to advocate not only for my family but for my patients as well.

Being an advocate also segues into being open minded too. And most important principles for me when raising girls were the fact, that they deserved to be happy, supported, and accepted. Period. If boys can “sow their royal oats” girls can have “hot girl summers”. Equity. Thats all we want. Without the bullshit trope of what “nice girls” don’t do. Nice girls want orgasms too. Nice girls want options too. Nice girls want it rough gentle and any other way they like it as long as it’s consenting and protected…who gives a fuck? Literally! Mind your damn business and let them live SEXUALLY LIBERATED. Cause some of y’all dicks have more miles on it then the floor of Madison Square Garden and that doesn’t make them good. We can have that talk too. Big vs Skilled! And isn’t it ironic that men always talk about that “older” woman they’ve experienced and how she curled his toes and blew his mind but how do you think she got those “skills” But maybe that’s another story too WASP…. the S is for seasoned!